


Half Moon Rising

by SunKissedLibra



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Ba Sing Se, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Fire Nation (Avatar), Firebending & Firebenders, Implied/Mention of Sex Work, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, New Friends, Pao Family Tea Shop, Refugees, Support, Tea, There Is No War In Ba Sing Se, Unplanned Pregnancy, hard decisions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:13:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25045198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunKissedLibra/pseuds/SunKissedLibra
Summary: Li has left the Fire nation under the guise of expanding on cultural influences in her dancing, but in truth, she has escaped to Ba Sing Se, withholding the fact that she is a bender. Now she is trying to move on in life, trying to escape the war she knows has plagued the world for 100 years, only to find that the straw that broke the camel's back, and forced her to flee has also left her with something unplanned. How will she progress with hard decisions to make, limited career options, a shameful lineage and history?
Relationships: Zuko (Avatar)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 20





	1. Dancing Thoughts, and Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter has implied references to rape, abortion, and themes related. There will be NO detailed descriptions of rape, or abortion in this fic. Additionally, these topics, and similar are not at all a part of the source material, and are entirely based on headcannon. I do not own any rights to ATLA, or its characters, and do not speak for the companies or creators who hold those rights regarding these topics, or similar.
> 
> Additionally, please note the rating and tags of this fic may evolve in the future as needed.

It had taken Li a month to leave her old home, another month to get to Ba Sing Se, and there she had only been living for a third month. In that span, after having been robbed by the Fire Nation one last time and fled, she discovered she was with child. 

She had originally been a dancer, by trade. But the news and lack of spouse had her between a rock and a hard place. She could not continue life as an entertainer for much longer, and there would be nobody to support her once she was too round to support herself. Despite being in a place that could support her needs otherwise, she would not want to raise the child alone, and she wasn’t going to hunt down the man who had left her with such a “gift.” However, she didn’t want to give up the child either. It would be too risky, and she doubted anyone would adopt a bastard from her.

“What to do…” Li huffed. 

She made her way to a small tea shop nestled among small apartments and shops nearest to her home. The sun had been down for a little while when she’d arrived, but as usual, the owner welcomed her, and offered her a seat farther into the shop. His tea was a far cry from being the best. But the prices were low, and he had offered her some snacks for free in exchange for help cleaning up on more than one occasion. 

This time, however, he seemed rather nervous. Like he had something to say. She merely stared at him for a moment, blinking only once to show that she was waiting for him to speak. “I-- Um.. I have hired a couple of refugees recently, and… Their tea is.. The prices have gone up.”

“Oh…” That’s the only word that left Li’s mouth, before a cup of steaming brew was placed before her by an older, almost portly man. She looked at his hand, and was quick to follow it up his arm to see his face. “I--”

“No worries. Consider this one on me,” the man turned to face the shop owner. “If that’s alright, of course.”

“Oh! You would give her… Your last shift drink?” Somehow, the shop owner didn’t seem to know his new employees well. In the very least, he was surprised by the action, which didn’t strike Li as though they were well acquainted.

“Of course! A young woman such as herself, coming into this shop looking so troubled… It would be dishonorable to trouble her further.

“I will admit though, he is correct in this being my last free drink. If you would like more, I could always try and convince my nephew to pass his onto you--”

“I already told you,  _ uncle _ , I don’t like tea.”

Li glanced to the younger staff member, before looking back to the man who had served her. “All is well then! You can have Lee’s drinks!” the man laughed, his tone almost too jovial for Li’s liking. Then again, it wasn’t his fault she was being troubled, and she didn’t have the energy to take it out on anyone, let alone address it herself. 

Instead, she smiled warmly at the cup, holding it gingerly between both her hands. “Thanks… I really appreciate it… Pao… Since I have a little extra money to spend, given this lovely gift… May I have some candied mango and ginger?”

Both of the older men blinked at her, but Pao merely agreed and told her to keep her money, mentioning sweeping up the shop instead as he disappeared to find the preserved fruits. The man that served her placed a hand on his hip and smiled. “Candied mango and ginger… That’s quite a choice young lady. Who's the lucky man?”

Li had been taking a sip of her tea and  _ immediately  _ choked on it when she realized this man-- one who she’d never met in her life, so clearly understood the implication of such an order. It was something common in the Fire Nation and its colonies. But that could only mean he was from one or the other. That, or he was  _ very _ culturally diverse in his life experiences.

He came closer to her and pat her on the back while handing her his kerchief. “Now now… I didn’t mean to startle you!” he mused with a chuckle. “My apologies… It’s not often I hear someone ask for a traditional Fire Nation remedy, let alone one for morning sickness…”

She looked up at him, eyes wider than the moon as it rose outside, just above the apartments across the street. “It’s none of my business, of course. But please, don’t be afraid to stop by once in a while. My nephew and I are new in town, and would love to have more company that is relatable, if you catch my drift,” he chuckled again, to which she paled. 

Pao returned with a small tray of the candied fruits. “Thank you Pao…” she mumbled, before taking a piece and quickly popping it into her mouth. 

The men left her side then, Pao going to the back to start his closing procedures, while the older man joined his nephew who was giving him a whispered earful, from what she could tell. Perhaps he was embarrassed to be from the colonies? Maybe they had been Earth Kingdom subjects that were displaced? She didn’t care, but the way the man had addressed her… There was no way they weren’t associated with the Fire Nation in some way…

Li went back to staring into her cup, long and hard like it would talk back to her. She had so many questions, so many thoughts. She was scared, even. Though she did her best not to show it. She would just have to go with the flow, she supposed. When her cup was empty, the older man filled it. And when the fruits ran out, the nephew brought more. It was strange. She hadn’t even noticed it, really, until Pao commented to “Mushi” that he was leaving for the night, and would be back bright and early the next morning.

How long had this Lee and Mushi been here that Pao trusted them to finish closing up shop? Had it been so long since she’d been by Pao’s tea shop?” She looked up finally, and realized the only table that hadn’t been cleared, and chairs stacked, was her own. Lee was sweeping, and Mushi was heating up more tea. “I’m so sorry, I’ve overstayed my welcome! And the floor--” 

“Don’t worry about it, Miss. My nephew is more than happy to handle the floor. Just keep me some company while I have my evening tea, and we’ll call it even.”

Part of Li felt bad for the nephew. Did his uncle volunteer him for this? She hadn’t been paying attention.

“So. Miss…” It was then that she realized she’d never introduced herself, and Pao apparently hadn’t mentioned her name either. 

This lead her to chuckle. “Sorry... My name’s Li.”

There was a sudden and unnatural silence in the shop, before Mushi burst into laughter, earning a groan from his nephew, who had even paused in his chore. “Uncle, it’s not that funny…”

“Oh, my precious nephew… When you get older, you will find humor in some of life’s small pleasantries. How interesting that you and my nephew share a name. I knew I liked you from the moment I laid eyes on you, and it wasn’t just the dress,” he commented. 

Li blushed then, looking down at her dress. She wasn’t dressed inappropriately, nor was she wearing anything that would pass her off as a Fire Nation ally of any sort. Heck, even her eyes looked too blaze to pass her off as a true Fire Nation citizen, not that she’d ever cared before. “What… What’s wrong with my dress?” she finally asked. 

Mushi smiled, and took a sip of his own tea. “Nothing is wrong with it, Miss Li. It is plain, and compliments your form. The cut was modified to fit your body’s movements, not to show off what is beneath. In other words, it accentuates who you are, rather than defining you, and I am quite a fan. So tell me. What is your profession? I doubt you are a serving girl, and typical labor does not suit those soft hands, and gentle features.

“Were you perhaps a lady in waiting?”

Mushi’s nephew, Lee, was no longer sweeping. Instead, he was staring at his uncle and the girl, and it made her uncomfortable. “I was a dancer,” she finally admitted, staring hard at the fruits that had begun to diminish again now that Mushi had joined her.

“Oh? That sounds exciting! I would like to see you perform sometime.”

“Uncle, that sounds creep--”

Li interrupted the nephew quickly. “Sorry, but that option won’t be available for long. Not that you aren’t already  _ aware _ ,” she pointed out, eyes coming back to meet Mushi’s. “I probably have one more week. Maybe two before I’m showing too much to get away with it…”

Lee finally brought a seat over so he could participate in the conversation. “Showing?”

He clearly hadn’t been paying attention earlier. “I’m pregnant,” she clarified for him, which seemed to surprise him for some reason.

“H-How?” This time, it was Mushi’s turn to choke on his tea. Li handed back the kerchief from earlier. 

“Nephew!”

“Don’t worry about it, Mushi. It’s not like it’s some sort of secret. I just didn’t know it would… I…” She paused and took a deep breath, eyes closing as she did. When she breathed out, Mushi watched carefully. It was a breathing exercise he was very familiar with. “The Fire Nation has a habit of robbing me of things. And never when it’s convenient for me,” she added dryly. 

“Such dark humor from one so young,” Mushi commented. Li merely nodded, but it was clear that the other Lee was still wrapping his head around this information. Did she really look that young?

“The father won’t be in the picture, not that I want him to be. And I’m not sure whether I would be fit to be a mother given the circumstances… My life isn’t exactly… Conventional.”

Mushi’s eyes narrowed as he mulled over her words. She didn’t strike him as a lady of the night. But before he could come up with anything to say, his nephew was speaking again. “What makes you think you won’t be a good mother?”

This seemed to take both Mushi and Li by surprise. Of all the questions she’d been asking herself in the hours she had spent in the shop, that had not been one of them. She looked into her cup again, brows furrowed. Her tea had long since cooled, but it still made a great mirror. “I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted. “But I’m also worried about whether it would be wise to have a child during such a time… I… I’ve seen the war…” the last part of her sentence was practically whispered. 

The refugees had been warned not to talk about the war in Ba Sing Se, or they would risk arrest. But given Li’s language, Mushi wasn’t convinced she felt entirely safe, even with the walls protecting them. He didn’t blame her.

“Well, Miss Li. Why don’t we make a deal? I will ask Pao to hire you  _ officially _ , once you are ready to quit dancing. In exchange, you will keep my nephew and I company during closing.

“I think it is something we could all benefit from…”

“ _ Uncle-- _ ” the nephew was giving a sharp look to his elder, but the elder looked back just as sharply.

“You know,” Li was rubbing the edge of her thumbs against her cup. “I’m not the smartest girl. I’ll be the first to admit that. But I will say this…” She stopped focusing on her cup to meet each man’s gaze. “I know you’re associated with the Fire Nation. And it’s taken me this entire conversation to connect the dots, if we are being honest. I don’t care about the details. How, or why, or whether it’s something important. But I do know I miss feeling safe, and at home, and understood…” she looked back into her cup again, before taking the last sip like it was a shot of whiskey.

“I’ll take you up on your offer, _Mushi_.” She extended her hand, and when he took it, he noted that her grip was firm.

“It’s a deal then.”

“Also… Next time you need a new name, try not to stick with something like  _ Mushi _ , it’s hardly fitting.” Now, Li was smiling, and to that,  _ Mushi _ laughed again. 

She joined him with her own soft giggle, and _ Lee _ looked confused between them. “Did I… Miss something?”

The uncle waved his nephew off. “It’s nothing. She is a friend. That is all we need to know.”

The younger man’s eyes were sharp when they focused on Li again. She too waved at him, as if to say “truce.”

“Don’t worry about it. I have nothing to gain from outing you two. No amount of money would be worth the trouble and upset.”

“We appreciate it,” the older man said, smiling warmly. She offered her hands to him again, and he took them causally this time.

Zuko noticed his uncle’s hands practically swallowed hers as he held them. “I imagine you do. All I ask is that you continue to support Pao as best you can, whether I join his payroll or not. He has been nothing but kind to me since I arrived, and has always given me food, drink, and shelter when it has been needed in the past.”

“Of course. The only thing that could sway me to leave such a polite man and his shop would be if I was offered my own.”

Li smiled back. “I don’t doubt it, _Mushi_. In any case, if that does happen, please consider taking me with you.”

“Of course!” He smiled and let go of her hands. 

Li then turned and bowed to Zuko, hands in proper form, to which he hissed. “Don’t do that!”

She glanced up at him from beneath her lashes, still bowed. “All due respect, not all of the Fire Nation was privy to the reason behind your banishment. But some of us have had the opportunity to cross paths with men whose lips are more loose than their wallets.”

She righted herself then, and Zuko looked confused, almost disgusted. “What do you mean?” He kept his tone low, but at least he wasn’t hissing anymore. 

Li seemed to struggle with a decision that only she could make. Iroh didn’t look like he would try to pry it out of her, but these two had been kind, polite, and relatable despite their appearances and the circumstances as she knew them. She decided it would not hurt to explain a bit about herself. As such, she kept it simple. “I was sold off to a snuggery at ten. I was in training. And the girls liked to talk during bath time.

“A few of the men who were at that meeting shared some information with them, feeling it would be inconsequential. Probably thought they were just dumb women, who wouldn’t know what to do with such information.” Li shrugged, before letting out a sigh. 

“I do not envy you,  _ prince _ , but I am honored and humbled to know your care for your nation and its military ran so deep, even at such a young age… Some called you spoiled. Some said you were too sensitive. But some believe in you, and miss you dearly.”

“Get out…” He only needed to say it once, and though his words were dripping with venom, Li knew he needed to hear it. Iroh made a move to correct his nephew’s tone and action, but Lit held up a hand.

“I’ll be back tomorrow evening, _Mushi_. And _Lee_ , I’m sorry if my honesty was too much. But I wouldn’t want to lie to my new friends…” With those words said, Li turned and left.

“She will not be working with us…”

“You do not get to make that choice, my nephew. That will be up to Pao.”

Iroh collected the dishes, and Zuko all but broke the broom as he stomped around, and cleaned up the last remaining table. He wasn’t sure what had pissed him off more. The fact that she had been so brazen as to identify them, to their faces when  _ anyone _ could have been listening, or the fact that she even left them a tip of five coppers.

He knew better than anyone that being poor left little room for such an action. Her stupid fruits would have costed less than that, and both Iroh and himself had technically given some of their shift beverages so she wouldn’t have to pay… Was she mocking them? He wasn’t sure, and it confused and irritated him further.

There was little left to do though. He took a deep breath, just as she had not too long ago, and let it out slowly, before pocketing the coppers, and cleaning up the table.


	2. Eating for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Li shares some poorly accepted advice to Zuko before his date with Jin. Iroh offers to take her on a little "date" of their own, but not before she shares with him some details of her condition, and how she ended up there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains implications of sexual assault, and references to abortion, sex work, and military abuse of power.

Iroh had made good on his word, and asked Pao about employing Li. He had accepted without much fight, and even offered to sacrifice part of his wages if money was the issue, but Pao had insisted that business had been picking up since Mushi and his nephew Lee had begun working at the shop.

It was almost a month before Li had retired from the stage and taken up her new employment, and when she arrived for her first day of official work, she’d worn yet another plain dress, this one less tailored to her body. This could only mean that she was beginning to show through her usual clothes.

Work days passed quickly between the three Fire Nation refugees. Iroh spent a lot of time and care during his breaks to get to know more about Li, and despite how personable she could be with customers, he found her personality was lacking. She didn’t seem to have many desires or motivations. Nothing drove the girl to do better, or reach for greater heights. And at the same time, he noticed everything she did was meticulously calculated. Or so it would seem.

Regardless, he enjoyed seeing his nephew interact with her. The two seemed to be similar in that neither could flirt to save their lives, and neither understood when they were being flirted with. In his old age, Iroh couldn’t help but appreciate the innocence between them. When Zuko had been asked on a date by a regular customer, he was  _ certain _ that Li would react in some way. But instead, she complimented Zuko on his “nice catch,” and went on her merry way bussing tables. That evening, he decided, he would take the opportunity to get more information out of the girl. There was no reason not to, since his nephew would be out. But before that…

Li put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder before he could exit the shop. Iroh was surprised. He half expected some sort of dramatic confession, but what shocked him more was how calmly his nephew turned to address Li. “Yes?”

Li stared hard at him, and her grip tightened. “ _ Lee _ . It is very important that I tell you this, both for your sake, and that girl’s.” There was a pause, which gave Zuko enough time to jump to some quick and dangerous conclusions, but they were immediately shut down when she said “Don’t get her pregnant. Also, it’s rude to sleep with a woman on the first date. If she instigates it, she could be after something else.”

This “tip” left both men shocked. Iroh began to laugh, and had to remove himself from the room. Zuko, on the other hand was turning bright pink. “ _ I know that _ !” he growled, shoving her hand off of his shoulder. But Li didn’t move. She continued to stare at him with her beige eyes set with such seriousness, it almost made him uncomfortable. And not just from embarrassment. 

“Why would you say such a thing anyway? That’s hardly appropriate given your current state,” he gestured toward her abdomen. “You’re clearly one to talk.”

He could hear Iroh’s laugh die with a quickness, even though he was in the other room. And the expression on Li’s face told him he’d said something wrong. But he didn’t care. Her eyes were beginning to water, jaw clenched, and so were her fists at her sides. She was even beginning to shake. He half expected her to reach up and slap him, but instead, she nodded. Taking a deep breath, Li forced her hands to relax before speaking. “Have a nice date, Lee… But another word of advice.  **_Never_ ** say anything like that to a single, pregnant woman ever again. I like to think of myself as forgiving, but between you and I, I expect an apology for those words. Maybe not today. But you will apologise some day.”

Zuko huffed, turned, and stomped out of the shop. Nobody could tell him what to do when it came to apologies and forgiveness. Nobody could ever  _ dream _ of understanding his thoughts and feelings regarding apologies owed. But he couldn’t trouble himself with that for long. He had Jin to entertain for the evening, and he would be  _ damned _ if Li being mad at him was going to take away from the experience.

Iroh came out from the back, his face stony as he spoke. “Li… He didn’t mean it.” The words were spoken so softly, he wasn’t convinced she had heard him at first. But when she turned to face him, she was smiling, tears streaming down her face. 

“I know, Mushi… It doesn’t hurt any less to know that, but…” Her face fell then. Iroh made a move like he was going to take her hands, or hug her, but the girl practically crumpled to the floor, arms wrapping around her legs as she tried to hide her face in her knees in humiliation. He could see her shoulders shaking, and his outstretched hand rested on her head.

“I have an idea… Why don’t I make us a soothing pot of tea? The shop is closed after all. And after that, we can go have some dinner at the noodle place up the street,” these were clearly not suggestions. But Li was not in any mood to argue.

Iroh felt her nod beneath his hand.

He left her to process her feelings, humming as he prepared the tea for steeping. He closed the windows of the shop, and looked around to make sure nothing else was amiss, before holding the teapot in his hands, and using his bending to heat it up quickly. He readied a table for them, and placed their setting before returning to Li’s side, and giving her a hand. It took more coaxing than he had expected. She was determined to stay folded over herself. But with the reminder of dinner, her stomach let out a gentle growl, and it seemed to remind the girl that she was eating for two. If not for that, he wasn’t certain the girl would have eaten, let alone gotten up for tea.

They drank quietly. Li, he noticed, seemed to spend a lot of time steeping in her thoughts. It made her presence in Pao’s tea shop all the more appropriate, and it made him chuckle as the thought passed. She looked up at him, taken from her thoughts. “Hm?”

Iroh smiled warmly. “You know. For someone who appreciates the arts, I can’t help but wonder how you got into dance. I know you mentioned a snuggery in the past… But you hardly seem like a snuggery girl. Mind entertaining an old soul with your story?

“After all, if you steep in it too long, you will become bitter, and won’t be able to enjoy the life ahead of you.”

Li pressed her lips into a tight line for a moment. “You know… I don’t see the harm in telling you, but I ask that in exchange, you promise not to tell your nephew. I don’t think he’s capable of understanding the suffering of the common folk, since his own seems to be rather… Niche.”

Iroh listened to her words, and considered what she meant by that before finally agreeing. She wasn’t wrong. Zuko was so wrapped up in his own suffering, that he often neglected to think of the suffering of others. He’d personally experienced this, of course.

“You have my word.”

Li finished off her cup of tea before beginning. “Where to start… Do you want the whole tragic upbringing story, or would you rather hear about the details surrounding my  _ condition _ ?”

Iroh poured her another cup of tea. “Wherever you feel is appropriate.”

Li considered this for a moment. She didn’t want to give all of her secrets away, as tempting as it was. She agreed wholly when Iroh mentioned she was steeping too long. At least that’s how she’d heard it. She didn’t want to be bitter. She wanted to get more out of life than bland experiences, peppered with the occasional traumas. There was no joy in her life as it was. She wasn’t even excited about having a baby, one she wasn’t even sure she wanted to keep.

That reminded her, the window was closing if she was going to-- “Li?”

She looked back to Iroh. She hadn’t realized she’d gone back to gazing into her tea like it held all of life’s answers.

“Mushi, you are too kind,” she hummed before taking another sip. What she’d actually meant to say was “ _ Thank you for being patient with me, _ ” but alas. Iroh got the message despite that.

“When I was ten, I was sold off to a snuggery. Quiet little place. Really only frequented by some of the military guys who were passing through more often than not, though there were some local regulars.

“I spent my childhood with parents who left me alone in the world, to be passed from one orphanage to another before ending up there. I was too troublesome as a child I supposed. But I loved so dearly to entertain. To dance, and sing. To act even. It was only a matter of time before I ended up with some traveling group, but the money was more important to the last shithole I was in, I guess…” Li paused to take a sip.

“When the Fire nation began to raise taxes, some of the military guys began to bully the owner. Said they would give us a break on our taxes if they got discounted service from the girls. Discounted eventually became  _ free _ , and then our clientele changed from a mixed back of travelers, locals, and military, to  _ just _ military.

“Needless to say, the place went under.”

Iroh nodded. It made sense. He’d been to more than one snuggery in his younger years, but once he’d fallen in love, he never thought about so much as setting foot in one. “So… When you said  _ robbed _ , you meant that quite literally, didn’t you?”   
  
Li nodded. “I was spared from that life. I hadn’t gotten my first bleeding, though it hadn’t stopped some of the patrons from eyeing me up and down. I wasn’t much to look at. It was creepy. But I digress. When the place went out of business, I was taken in by some of the older women who had been trained dancers before submitting themselves to a life of full service entertainment. And I  _ loved _ to dance.”

“I feel a big ‘but’ coming on…”

“Indeed,” she sighed, looking into her cup again. “Despite my love of dance from when I was young, I had since lost my passion for it. I was chasing a dream that had ended long before it could have ever had any hope of being realized.

“Despite that, I was trained. I had a talent for it. I became a traditional fire dancer, and moved out on my own once I was old enough. I had worked in a few places, but ended up settling in a house with three other dancers who worked at the same place. Safety in numbers and all that. On any given night, there were at least two of us working, and we stood up for each other. But it didn’t take long for the other girls to start treating me like an outcast.”

“Why treat you like an outcast?” he asked carefully. 

“Simple. Unlike them, I wasn’t looking to become  _ full service _ . Those girls…” she shook her head and sighed. But this time, it was with annoyance. “Gosh, those girls. They just couldn’t understand. I told them over and over that it wasn’t the life they thought it was. That I had seen the most beautiful women become worn out, burnt out, and ugly for it. Because they were so full of greed, or vanity that it actually destroyed them from the inside out.

“But that didn’t stop them. By the end of my stay in that house, more nights than not, those girls were coming home with men on their arms. Only one of them ended up in an actual relationship. I’d since moved out of my own room and taken up the attic, because I didn’t want to be around them and their company. But that girl. Her boyfriend was a jerk to her. I tried to tell her once that he’d been trying to make passes at me. That he was looking at the other girls on more than one occasion.

“Would you believe me if I told you she thought he would marry her if she quit dancing and took up a job at a local shop polishing armor?” Li laughed, but there was no humor in it.This was clear to Iroh.

“You don’t need to tell me the rest,” he said quietly. Now it was his turn to look into his tea and reflect.

Li’s tea had long since cooled, but his was still steaming. She wondered if he’d been using bending to keep it warm, or if he was doing it subconsciously. He seemed annoyed, though he was doing a good job keeping it under wraps. That didn’t stop it from reaching his eyes though.

She finished her cup of tea, and placed the cup upside down on the tray.

“I’m not even done with the story,  _ Mushi _ .” Li’s voice had an edge to it. She really was bitter about it, even though she was clearly putting effort into reacting as little as possible to her own situation. 

“ _ Li _ !” his voice came out harsher than he’d meant it to, and it was evident she felt it like a slap in the face. Her lips were in a tight line again.

The tension in the room was suddenly cut by the sound of her stomach growling, surprising both of them. This lead to both laughing, and the remaining tension seemed to creep away like shadows after a candle had been lit. “I guess it can’t be avoided… The baby is hungry, so we should probably get going…”

“So, you’ve decided to carry the child?” Iroh asked carefully, finishing his tea at a quicker, though somehow still leisurely pace.

Li took a deep breath, eyes closing as she inhaled. When she exhaled, Iroh could swear with her breath came all thoughts of ending the pregnancy. Something about her venting seemed to have given her the opportunity to think about her options, and what she wanted. Despite knowing it was none of his business, he was tempted to ask what her plans were. But instead, he replaced the desire to be nosy by embracing the humbleness and honor that came with knowing she’d willingly shared such a tender part of her life with him, even if he’d not been there to witness and experience it with her at the time.

“I will keep the baby. But whether I  _ keep _ the baby is still up in the air,” she finally said as Iroh was grabbing the tray.

“I see… Well, you certainly have time to make that decision!” he reminded. This earned him a genuine smile from the woman, and it warmed his heart to see. 

“True… I appreciate your ear, Mushi.”

He nodded before disappearing into the back. Once everything was cleaned up, he escorted her to the noodle shop as promised, and they shared a casual, comfortable dinner, talking about lighter things, and making jokes about some of the things they’d seen and experienced since arriving in Ba Sing Se. For the first time in a long time, Li could feel that she was genuinely happy. Instead of focusing on how long that happiness would live, she embraced it. And to Iroh, it showed.

He walked the girl home, and wished her well. Still, he somehow managed to make it home before his nephew. When he did return, he seemed to be in better spirits. Even when he slammed the door, Iroh was happy to hear him rescind the action by opening the door, and mumbling about how the date had gone well, and that he’d had a good time.

While the retired general pruned his bonsai trees, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, second chapter so soon? A record. More than one chapter on one of my fics. Stunning. *sarcasm*
> 
> Seriously though, please leave comments if you guys have any thoughts, questions, suggestions. I only vaguely have an idea of where this plot is going to go, and I hope you guys stick around for the ride while I develop it further!


	3. Sweet Potatoes

It wasn’t long before Li and  _ Lee _ were talking again. Iroh was impressed that the girl bounced back so quickly from his nephew’s callous words, but the more present she was on the front end of the shop, the man realized she was getting used to hearing much worse.

More than once, he had heard men comment on Li’s body, and her condition. Women too, but they were often more subtle, or tried to be supportive. There even came a point where Zuko had asked a couple of guards to see themselves out as soon as they were done with their tea, as he felt their "observations" were inappropriate, and making other guests uncomfortable. It did not go unnoticed by Iroh that the guards had been the only ones present at the time, however.

It also wasn’t long before Li had changed into even looser dresses, ones that were better designed for a man Iroh’s size, not a woman as small as she. Finally, he invited her for a chat during lunch. He had concerns for her wellbeing. The girl was pale, and had been since the week started. She was avoiding eye contact with everyone, and when it could be helped, she kept her lips sealed tight. It was almost like she was afraid of being punished at any moment, and although he could understand those concerns if they were in the Fire Nation, he wasn’t sure how to aid her in feeling safer in a place like Ba Sing Se.

Iroh poured each of them a cup of chamomile tea, and held his own close, taking in the sweet scent. “You know, I never got to ask how old you are,” Iroh took a sip of his tea before looking over to the girl, who was now gripping her own cup like her life depended on it. 

There was a long silence between them. She still refused to meet his eye, and made no moves to actually drink her tea. Instead, she bounced one of her legs nervously beneath the table. “You are in no danger here, you have my word. I know you have a history you don’t want to share. And I know you are aware of the consequences of being…  _ open _ about your condition in other parts of the world. But… Here in Ba Sing Se, it’s more common, and not considered a crime--”

“I’m eighteen winters, not including my birth year!” she said it so quickly, Iroh almost asked her to repeat herself.

“I see… But you still seem to be looking over your shoulder. I doubt anyone from the Fire Nation is going to take you away over this. You’re of age, and the circumstances…”

“It’s not about that I--  _ Mushi _ … I hear what they say. The patrons, I mean. The women pity me, the men either hit on me, or look at me like I’m some sort of filthy hog… I feel like I look  _ twelve _ , for goodness’ sake! You cannot convince me that people aren't staring and making assumptions!”

The man made a gentle  _ tsk _ sound and shook his head. “Li, you don’t look like a child.  _ Young _ , yes. But not like a child.”

"That's not the point!" She hissed, face flushing from embarrassment. How could he not see she was practically sick with worry over being in the public eye, where she was constantly feeling the judging eyes of others?

Zuko pulled up a chair then, resting the broom he’d been using against the table. “What are you two chattering on about?”

Iroh glanced around the shop, only then realizing the patrons had cleared out. Looking back to the girl, who was finally sipping her tea, he noticed she was back to staring into the cup. No bouncing leg, no fiddling with fabric. She was steeping again. “Li. You don’t look like a child. You can even ask my nephew--”

“Hey, don’t bring me into  _ this _ !” Zuko wasn't signing up to possibly offend Li again.

"Please, Iroh, I--"

Iroh had obviously ignored Zuko’s earlier question. “Lee, do you think Li looks twelve winters old?”

The prince sighed, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. In the very least, he could humor the two, and perhaps better understand whatever they were talking about, if they weren’t going to tell him. After what felt like minutes, he finally admitted “You look more like you’re my age. Why?” He was facing his uncle again, hoping the words weren't going to set off some sort of emotional bomb.

Li was clenching her jaw so tight, she felt like she might break her teeth.

“See?” Iroh sounded optimistic. The whole situation reminded Zuko of the time his uncle had misgendered the girl on the ferry.

When he looked back to Li, who was glaring at her tea, he made no move to speak further. Iroh wasn’t about to speak again either. This much was clear. But now Zuko wanted to know more. He was  _ just _ beginning to invest in the conversation.

A customer entered then, and Iroh glanced at Zuko, before standing to address them. “Please consider who you are, and how you feel, Li. Not what others think of you.”

Zuko looked at his uncle with confusion then. Is that what this was all about? Was she feeling insecure? He then realized that by taking on the customer who'd entered, his uncle was skipping lunch, and leaving him practically in charge of Li during hernown break. Li, whose hands were shaking around her cup, she was gripping it so hard. He opened his mouth to ask his own questions, but he was cut off by the sound of the cup exploding. Both of them gasped. She then looked up at him, looking like a frightened rabbit. “Don’t.”

That’s all Zuko said. He even gestured with his hand for her to stay seated, as he’d noticed her move like she'd lunge for his broom if he moved too fast. “Don’t worry about it.”

Iroh glanced over, his face unreadable as he merely observed, assessed, and moved on to address the patrons.

Li's hands were still shaking. Zuko passed her Iroh’s abandoned cup after checking her for cuts, which was accepted shyly. Watching him pick up the pieces of ceramic seemed almost painful for her. At least it had broken into larger pieces, though Zuko couldn’t help but notice they were very warm. Much warmer than the tea alone would have made them.

He glanced at her hands wrapped around the second cup as he stood, noting that  _ that _ tea had begun steaming again. It hadn’t been before, and that said a lot about Li that he realized he didn't want to expose. Instead of calling her out, he decided he might talk to his uncle about it privately, if he could remember to.

"I'll make you something to eat. No point in skipping lunch. It's not healthy…" Li merely nodded in response to Zuko's words, before he left to prepare some food.

The rest of the day seemed uneventful otherwise.

When all was quiet at the end of the day, Zuko offered to walk Li home, which she accepted gratefully. He'd never been to any other apartments in Ba Sing Se, and he was curious as to how she lived. His uncle and he lived on the second floor of a small building, on a street of many small identical buildings. But Li, she lived in what looked like a small shack, among a sea of them.

The walk had been silent, and he wasn't going to try and invite himself in, so it surprised him when he turned to leave with a "goodnight," that he'd been stopped by her small hand gripping his sleeve.

He was quick to turn his attention to her, then from her hand to her face. "Would… You like to come inside for dinner? We didn't eat together this evening… and I'm sure you're hungry. Your lunch…"

So she'd noticed. Neither he nor Iroh had eaten lunch that day. But what of his uncle? Would he know that he wasn't going to be back in time for dinner? And more importantly, could she afford to share her food?

The questions were answered when he was dragged into the dwelling, only to be greeted by a small kitchen that smelled like whatever had been cooked last. He glanced around, noticing two small doors on either side of the counter. One likely lead to a bathroom. The other, to a bedroom. 

She filled a kettle with some water she'd apparently collected and stored in pottery. "I only get so many tokens for drinking water, so it's wise that I keep as much as possible.

"Baby on the way and all that…"

"They… They have you on water allotments?"

She nodded. "Families get access to unlimited water, so they're housed around public wells. Single refugees get allotments based on need. Speaking of, I need to fill out some forms to notify the kingdom of my status…" 

While the kettle was heating up, she pulled out an iron pan, lit a flame under her cooktop, and began chopping up some vegetables. "I… Is there anything I can help with?" 

She was using a small flat utensil to scoop what looked like cold grease into the pan, and added some vegetables as she finished cutting them. "Not really. I doubt you know how to cook," she paused to look over her shoulder at him. She was already looking much more herself than she did at work. It was like night and day. "No offense."

And just like that, she wasn't paying him any mind, though it made him wonder if she'd even enjoyed the meal he'd tried to make  _ her _ for lunch.

Zuko blinked at her in shock for a moment, feeling terribly awkward. Maybe he really did need to learn how to cook. "I really… I should really get back to my uncle." He scratched the back of his neck. " He doesn't know I'm here and I don't want him to--"

"Don't worry about it. I already told him I was going to give you two vegetables to go with dinner."

"What?"

"Yeah." She turned to look at him again. "I have some that needed to be eaten soon, so I asked if I could prepare some to share. To thank you two for your kindness."

_ Kindness _ ? She had already turned away again. The silence felt more tolerable at least. But he still had so many questions. "So… what do you do for fun? When you're not at work, I mean…"

"Oh? Telling you I was destined to live as a snuggery girl wasn't enough of a tip?" Unable to see her face, he had no idea if she was joking, which resulted in him sputtering out half an apology while she began to laugh.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not a whore or anything. I used to like dancing, and it feels good to stretch, but I'm… I don't really have any hobbies... I can't afford any. Heck, I hardly even want to leave my house to go to the market, if we're being honest."

Something began sizzling loudly as it had been added to the pan, and the smell of roasted duck and herbs began to fill the room. "I thought you said… vegetables?"

She looked over at him again. "I said what I said. I just used some leftover duck fat to help them cook, and added some broth to help add flavor.

Zuko had never truly learned how to cook more than prepping rations, so what she explained meant little to him. All he knew was the smell, and it was making his stomach hurt, and his mouth water with hunger. Her words seemed strange though. She did nothing? Then again, he felt the same way when he was actively chasing after the avatar. Tracking patterns and gathering intelligence weren't hobbies, so much as necessities, to him. 

In the very least, it was nice to see her acting confident, and within her element again.

Before he could fully process what was happening, the girl had a large orange slice of  _ something _ , and she was waving it in his face with her chopsticks. "Here. Try this!"

She looked excited. Something in her beige eyes was glowing, and rather than crush it, he figured it wouldn't hurt to just do as he was told. He rested his cheek on his hand, looking almost bored, as he opened his mouth. Li laughed at him, before stuffing it in. "You look like a child when you do that. Being forced to try something when you've never even tried it before. At least you didn't say you hated it before taking a taste, so I'll give you  _ some _ credit."

She was already turned away again, and couldn't see the surprise on his face as he chewed and swallowed the morsel. "Uh… thanks, I guess. It was good."

"It was a sweet potato!" She chimed. 

Zuko nodded, as though she could see him. He could have gathered what it was from taste alone, so why she bothered to announce it was beyond him. It wasn't worth commenting on.

Before long, a large shallow bowl with a wooden cover was placed before him. She had tied it shut with what looked like a scarf. 

"Tell your uncle I made it with  _ with love _ , I'm sure he'll enjoy hearing that," between her tone and expression, he felt like there was a sarcastic or private joke somewhere in her words, but there was another part of him that told him not to ask. Despite the many questions that had come to mind between lunch and having arrived at her table, he figured it would be in his best interests to avoid bringing them up, unless absolutely necessary. Besides. She was beginning to make it very clear that if there was something to be said, she would say it. At least that was Zuko's perspective.

"Don't give me that look, it isn't that deep." Had he worn  _ a look _ ? "Don't worry. Think of it as a formality."

"A formality? About food, and it being made ' _ with love _ '," he made air quotes. 

"Perhaps it's more of a… A turn of phrase!" She chirped, before sitting across from him, a large plate of the vegetables being placed between them, and the tea tray off to her side on the floor.

She pulled out two sets of chopsticks, one metal, one wooden, and she kept the wooden ones for herself. "Go ahead and have some," she encouraged gently, before pulling the tray closer, and pouring each of them a cup of tea.

His was placed before him, and he was surprised to find a slice of fruit floating at the top. "How… how am I supposed to drink this?" All he could smell was hot lemon.

Li was chewing on a large piece of sweet potato, looking thoughtful at his question. Had he never had tea with lemon before? Maybe she was the one who was weird. She instructed him once she was finished with her bite. "Take a sip. Use your upper lip to hold the lemon back. Helps clear the sinuses while it's still steaming."

"My… sinuses?"

She cocked a brow, already on another bite of food. "Your nose. It's bothering you isn't it?"

Zuko did as he'd been told and took a sip of the tea. The lemon was very sour, but it lended sweetness to whatever she'd brewed. "Why do you think that?"

"Your voice. It's more scratchy than normal."

He nearly choked on the bite of food he'd finally taken, but Li didn't look surprised by his shock. Once he managed to get the food down his throat, Zuko tried to find a way to ask what she was talking about, but it kept coming out as half formed questions, until she finally waved him off. "Listen, I get it. Your voice is always like that, you're feeling fine, or whatever. Trust me." She pointed to her ear. "I can hear it."

Zuko and Li stared at each other for a moment before he sighed and looked into his cup. "Right…" 

The two ate the rest of the veggies in silence, Li refilling his cup one more time, before she stood, and began to clean up. "Don't leave yet. I have something else to give you, then you can go."

The teen sighed. "You know, I'm practically your age. You don't have to treat me like a child. You're not even a mother yet."

"Doesn't matter. You and Iroh came to town a while after I did, and considering you get the perks of being a family unit, there's a lot of liberties you get to take that I couldn't dream of.

"That said, there are some things you still have to worry about. You need to take better care of yourself. That means letting others help you sometimes, even if you're not sure you need it."

Something told Zuko she was talking about a lot more than a little cold. Still, he wasn't able to pull apart her words, as she was setting a tin on top of the bowl she'd given him to share with his uncle. "Citrus grass and candied ginger tea, with balm leaves. Drink it. At least one cup before bed, until you're out. Lemons are available at most markets."

He stared at the little metal box like it might kill him. "It's just tea. Nothing special."

"Um… How long--" 

"Five minutes, just hot enough to start bubbling and steaming."

"No, I was going to ask how long you're planning to work."

Li looked confused all of a sudden, and as Zuko stood, the two maintained eye contact. She wasn't sure how long. She'd never been pregnant before. She didn't know much about it, beyond what she'd learned while at the snuggery, which was essentially to avoid it at all costs, and that it could be dangerous, and during delivery, painful.

"I… Don't know. Why? Are you trying to get rid of me or something?" She laughed, though it was weak and humorless. Clearly the question had sparked that earlier insecurity again.

Just when she'd thought her and Zuko were becoming almost friendly.

Zuko closed his eyes for a moment. He was putting effort into the words before he said them, not wanting to be misunderstood, but it was such an awkward topic for him. "My mother once told me that women experience all sorts of things during pregnancy. Some things are nothing to sneeze at. But other things can be dangerous. 

"My uncle… His wife… She had some dangerous symptoms that came up, and she was told not to work, not to be on her feet if it could be helped, or she would risk a loss of pregnancy. Something about her blood, or her heart.

"I don't know you. I'm not going to lie." He opened his eyes, the amber piercing as they stared at each other. "But I do know you've been upset a lot at work. And stress is what made my aunt have those complications.

"In other words, stress caused her to die giving birth to my cousin. And that is something my Uncler might never tell you. It's… a very sensitive topic.

"So please. Don't stress yourself out if you don't have to…"

Li swallowed hard, unblinking as Zuko picked up the food and pocketed the tin. It was like he hadn't just told her part of his family's tragic history.

"Thank you for the vegetables. I'm sure my uncle will appreciate them. Especially since they were made  _ with love _ ," he quoted her earlier comment, though it was meant to be in good spirits, not to sound mocking as it did. Considering what he'd shared, it helped her realize his intentions.

"Of course… I'll be late coming in tomorrow. Paperwork," she reminded, voice soft.

Zuko nodded. Zuko left. And Li was alone again, trapped between four walls and her thoughts as she finished cleaning up for the evening, and locked herself away in her room to mull over what Zuko had asked, and what he'd shared.

While he was walking back to his own apartment, Zuko was mentally kicking himself. He'd actually wanted to ask her about firebending. But he didn't want to stress her out more. She looked so much happier at home, healthier even. And remembering some of the stories his mother had told him in passing about his aunt had caused him to worry about her health, not that he wanted her to know that. He wondered if his uncle had also noticed the parallels. Wondered if that was why he was always bringing her up in conversation, even when they were at home. 

As much as he didn't care for Li, or didn't want to care, he did. If not from his own interests, it was for his uncle's.

When he entered, Iroh was cooking meat on the stove, but Zuko couldn't place what kind. It smelled similar to duck, but it looked more like hen. 

"Li said to bring these home for dinner. She said she made them especially well. ' _ With love _ ,' or something."

Iroh looked at his nephew, a broad smile on his face. "How sweet! It's so nice of you to have found a lady friend who can cook such meals for you, that you feel loved by them-- "

"That's not at all what she meant!"

Iroh was laughing then. "Don't worry,  _ Lee _ , I certain I know what you meant." He took the bowl and unwrapped it, clearly enjoying the smells that greeted him once the lid was off. "Oh! This smells delicious!

"Did she use duck when she made this?"

"Duck fat. Why?"

"I see. She really did make it with love!" The older man chuckled to himself. "I told her the other day that I love roast duck! So she wasn't kiddingwhen she said she would make vegetables  _ with love _ ." He shook his head then. "I cannot believe she would do such a cunning thing with such information. A girl after my own heart."

Zuko grumbled under his breath. He then produced the tin, slammed it on the counter, and stomped off. 

"Did you try any while you were there?" Iroh asked. At least Zuko hadn't slammed the door that time.

"That's none of your business!" He yelled back. 

"Would you like some now while I finish cooking these hog-hens?"

"I'm not hungry!" The slammed the door, telling Iroh all he needed to know.

"Just after I was about to praise you for not slamming the door…" he tutted softly.

With another shake of the head, he returned to the meat he was preparing, only sparing a glance at the tin at that moment. Once the meal was ready, he poked his nose in. "A medicinal tea? How peculiar."

He looked back at the door Zuko was behind and stroked his beard in thought, before going back to his food. He ate quietly, and left a serving out for Zuko before retiring to his own room.

The prince didn't come out to eat it until well after he could hear his uncle snoring, and the candles had all been blown out. Though the food had long since grown cold, he still enjoyed it. Especially the sweet potatoes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any typos. Sometimes I'm typing and editing this on my phone from my g.Docs and it causes some odd happenings with autocorrect. x.x Spent 5 days writing and editing this chapter over and over. Finally felt satisfied enough to post so...
> 
> Please share your thoughts! Hope you enjoyed this installment! :D


	4. Anxiety and Dinner Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Li has multiple anxiety attacks, and Zuko continues to be as awkward as she.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter has implied mentions of abortion, and vague references to rape.

Li was up bright and early to go to the local branch of public affairs. Despite being in the lower ring of the city, the building was well decorated, and the furniture strangely comfortable.

At least two hours was spent waiting nervously for her name to be called. And that was just to review her submission forms. Most of that time was spent staring at floors that seemed too clean to belong to the lower ring. When her name was finally called, she made her way to the section of desk from which she’d been addressed. A chair was brought for her immediately.

“So, it says on your application here that you’ve fallen pregnant? Have you been able to see a physician to confirm this?” The woman on the other side of the desk seemed too happy. It made Li uncomfortable, but not as much as the use of the word "fallen" did.

“I... Erm… No. I can’t afford to see one.”

“Alright, and it says here you are single. Is the father deceased?”

“He’s… Not in the picture.” The other woman had been filling out something behind a smaller screen that kept Li from seeing, but she could hear the sound of a pen on parchment. When it stopped, it felt like a some sort of punctuation. One that sparked anxiety.

“I see. Please, come to the gate on the right, and you will be brought in to see a physician.”

Li swallowed hard, and did as she was told. Nobody else seemed to notice what was happening to her, or rather, they didn’t care. Was this normal? Maybe she was overthinking it. She didn’t know. But it seemed strange to see a physician, where one clearly didn’t belong. And the worst part was that although Zuko knew she was turning in paperwork, she didn’t know how long this spontaneous appointment would take, and the last thing she wanted was to cause worry. If not Zuko, it would be Iroh, or Pao.

She was already half an hour late, if her sense of time was anything to go by.

The small stone gate opened to let her in, and closed behind her audibly. The sound made her anxiety grow. Li was beginning to feel claustrophobic as she was escorted down the long narrow hall, so much so that the walls felt like they were going to crush her. When she was finally directed into a clean room with a raised cot, her legs were shaking, and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She was almost happy to be seated, and then, she was alone. The sound of the door closing was enough for her to start hyperventilating.

\-----

Zuko spent the first half of his shift in fine spirits, as far as Iroh could tell. But after the lunch rush, and still no sign of Li, the young man seemed restless. He refused to stop for so much as a sip of tea, let alone his lunch, and the boy refused to stop cleaning. Even when the tables were spotless, he would wipe them down, over and over. Clearly, Zuko was troubled.

Finally, Iroh bit. “Lee… What happened when you escorted Li home last night?”

“What are you asking?!” the scarred prince bit back, voice raised. Few patrons bothered to turn and look at them.

Many were used to Zuko being excitable. But nothing could have prepared anyone, least of all Zuko, for Jet to come bursting through the door, slinging the quick and dangerous accusation that he was a firebender, tiger-hooks drawn. Most of the patrons merely stared at the young man like he had an extra head. But Zuko glared. It was all the bait Zuko needed to be lured into a fight, he was so wound up.

This type of anxiety he could handle. This kind was practically home to him. It was exciting.  _ Invigorating _ . And as he took the dao blades from a guard at a nearby table, he voiced his willingness to fight, and the destruction of Pao’s Family Tea House began in the wake of their fight. Iroh tried to stop it, but his words fell on deaf ears. The boys would not stop, and nobody else in the shop was equipped to stop them.

It wasn’t long before the fight rolled out onto the streets. Before it could escalate further, the Dai Li was there, and with them, a small group of onlookers with whom Li blended in. Li who was practically quivering, and looked more pale than ever. Iroh was too busy defending his nephew to notice her slip into the tea shop, but Zuko had caught just a glimpse of her, and it brought some relief. He had questions. More important, he wanted to know why she’d been so late.It was nearly time to close! He answered no questions, and said nothing when Jet was cuffed and dragged away, kicking and screaming. He also said nothing when Pao asked both he and his uncle to close the shop early so he could make a trip up to the middle ring to visit his insurer’s office before they closed.

Once in the shop, Zuko stared hard at Li, who was sitting at one of the few tables that remained unharmed. “Where were you?!” he hissed. “I was worried!”

Li pursed her lips and nodded slowly. “I was at the Office of Public Affairs. It was... It was...”

“This entire time?! It’s already dark out!”

Iroh entered then, closing the door as best he could. It was definitely broken. “Lee, please lower your voice. You’re going to do more harm than good by yelling.” He then turned his attention to Li. An unspoken question passed between them, and with her nod, his task was clear. He would be making her some tea, but first he disappeared into the back for candied fruit. The girl was beginning to sweat.

"Well?" Zuko crossed his arms. 

"Why are you mad at me?" She asked quietly, the question ignored. Where else would she have been? She told him she would likely be late, and it wasn't as though she could send a message to him. So why was he so mad at her?

"I-- I'm not mad!" His crossed arms were short lived as his hands went to his hair, and he began to pace, not facing her as he took calming breaths. "I'm not mad. Not at you. I'm sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to be gone  _ all day _ ," he grumbled the last part, which caused a different type of guilt to settle in her chest.

Iroh had returned with tea and fruit, the latter of which she immediately began to snack on. She looked like she was about to be sick.

"My dear, what happened?" It seemed like Li had ignored him, but it was more likely she was simply thinking about her response. Iroh didn't take his eyes off of Li when he tried again. "He's just worried. Now please, enlighten us. We want to know you are well."

She took a deep breath, like it would steady her feelings, but she still felt so scattered. 

The first part of the story was simple. But everything that came after her anxiety attack in the physician's office was difficult for her. 

"They wanted to be certain that I'm with child, and made me see a doctor they had on staff. I wasn't even aware they had doctors in public affairs offices, but they didn't want to raise my allotments unless they had proof…"

Zuko had sat himself down by that part of the story, leaning his chest against the back of the chair he’d turned around. Something about her tone was off, and she looked like she might cry. Or vomit.

"I… The doctor was a man. They made me wait a very long time in that back room, so long, and there wasn't a window, or a way for me to tell time.

"When he did show up, he didn't seem invested in me or my reasons for being there. He said the measurements didn't lie. Said I was actually really small looking despite how long I was claiming to have been…"

Iroh looked like he was about to share words of comfort, but Zuko needed to hear more. "Why did it bother you? What else happened?"

His eyes were narrowed, and Li was fanning herself, her breathing getting more strangled. Iroh handed the girl an actual fan, before pushing her tea closer.

"Answer me--"

" _ Zuko _ !" The prince glared at his uncle. He hadn't used his real name since they entered the city. But the tone and look he was receiving said he needed to stop. 

"Li, my dear, you do not have to tell us more if you don't want to."

"He tried to tell me I  _ needed _ to give up the baby!"

She was practically hyperventilating again, and between Li's last revelation, the sweat and tears, even Zuko couldn't maintain his steely look. He rubbed his face with his hands and sighed heavily. Instead, he stood. He began to pick up debris, moving and stacking tables and chairs… He couldn’t handle this information. But he needed to hear it. To truly understand her plight, and try to think of ways to make it all easier on her, not that it was his job.

"If a  _ doctor _ is trying to cause her harm, I can't say I trust her neighbors to be much better," Iroh mused, stroking Li’s hair as she continued to fan herself and catch her breath.

It was sad to Iroh that Zuko, who had suffered so much in his young life at the hands of the selfish and cold-hearted, still seemed so unaware of the evils of the world. Doctor or not, Iroh knew how Li's condition looked to an outsider who didn't have context. And for the first time in a while, he could feel that he and his nephew were on the same wavelength regarding this girl, and her needs.

“I need to finish cleaning up here…” Zuko finally said, his voice hoarse. 

"Will you be long?" Iroh asked carefully. 

Zuko looked thoughtfully around the shop. "I would say it will take me a couple hours but…” He shook his head. Iroh merely nodded to his nephew, while Zuko continued to clean what he could.

Iroh had his hands full. He was speaking softly to Li again, who had since dropped the fan, and looked like she was going to faint now. Neither firebender had ever seen someone have an anxiety attack. At least, not knowingly. By the time she was calm enough to speak, she was practically falling asleep on the table and shaking like a leaf, covered in sweat. Iroh ended up pocketing the candied fruit he'd provided earlier, and mumbled as much to Zuko before trying to convince her to climb onto his back. Zuko knew his uncle couldn't carry the girl, and since he wasn't going to be able to do much else with the shop, it was time to settle on a course of action.

Li was insisting it wasn't necessary. That she could walk. But as she bickered with Iroh, Zuko was scribbling a quick list on scrap paper.

"Here."

He handed the list to Iroh. "We can't fix the door. There's no tools in this place to get that kind of work done. Instead, I'm going to take Li to get some stuff from her place, so don't worry about taking her anywhere.

Iroh looked at the list, then back to his nephew, who had taken the girl into his arms like she was a sack of flour. She was too weak to fight it, and the sight was almost laughable. She looked like an angry turtle-duck, hanging over his shoulder.

He wasn't even carrying her in a way that would allow him to move. At least, not easily. 

"How long are we going to have such company? I want to make sure I get enough to last."

Zuko shrugged with one arm. Li began to try and hit his back, but she lacked the strength to do any real convincing. "Put me down! Don't I get a say in any of this? I just want to be left alone!"

In her defense, she did look and sound exhausted. But she wasn't going to get away from them. Especially not with what Zuko knew. "Let's make a deal. If you let me carry you there, you can  _ walk _ back to our apartment if you're feeling better."

Li stopped struggling, obviously weighing the value of his offer, while she watched Iroh go through the list again, not paying them much mind. If she went to their apartment, would she be staying? Part of her wondered whether this was meant to be a permanent change, or one to help her get on her feet. Regardless, she didn’t want to refuse.

In the very least, the cultural familiarity would be soothing. “I can agree to those terms…"

Zuko crouched so her feet could touch the floor. "I'm going to get on one knee. You're going to climb on my back."

Iroh looked amused as Li sputtered, despite his eyes not leaving the paper in his hand. Evidently, Zuko was done asking politely. He crouched even lower, and dropped one knee to the floor. Knowing she was probably embarrassed, he even closed his eyes. Once he felt her legs awkwardly hooked over his waist, he hooked his arms around them, and clasped his hands together to support her backside as best he could. 

Was she supposed to be that thin? Was that even healthy during pregnancy? He wasn't going to ask these questions out loud. Once he was confident she wouldn't fall, he stood, and Li wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "I'm going to shift your body weight higher. You're choking me," his voice came out weak.

Iroh couldn’t stop his laughter as he watched as his nephew used his entire body to shift their combined weight, and scoot Li higher. Once better situated, the elder quieted down. "Here. Before you two head out…"

He came up behind them, and Li squeaked in Zuko's ear as she felt the older man tug on the fabric of her dress. It had apparently been pulled strangely, and left too much of her leg exposed. "There. Travel safe now!" He mused, all smiles as Zuko faced him and rolled his eyes.

"I'll be at our place in a little bit, Uncle. Please don't buy too much junk."

That said, they were off. Zuko was taking his time to get to the shack. "So… Extra water allotments?"

"No."

"Doctor say anything bad about… you know…?"

"Not… Exactly. Like I said, other than the fact that I’m apparently small, he advised I terminate. Implied it would be to save face, but…” She paused. “Apparently those things matter, even in the lower ring…" Though Li's tone was cold, he could tell that the situation lit a fire beneath her. Even if the Fire Nation, things were not framed so…  _ underhandedly. _

"Did… Did you give them the details of your circumstance?"

"Just said the father wouldn't be in the picture. Not their business why."

"I see…" Zuko had the last word.

The conversation had been very quiet, and very short. Eventually, he could feel Li's breaths on the side of his neck as she leaned forward, apparently asleep, or close to it. He couldn't blame her.

Turning his attention back to their surroundings, Zuko was actually impressed to see nobody seemed bothered by them. Nobody was concerned for the girl, or in the very least hadn't felt their appearance was inappropriate. That gave the prince a little hope, though he couldn't place why.

Eventually, Li spoke again. "Am I going to come back to my place ever again?"

He didn't respond. He didn't have any answers to offer. But he was definitely going to be discussing some things with his uncle. "This is because you know my secret… Isn’t it?" The accusation was so sudden, it surprised him. Was she talking about her bending? Or something else? Maybe she  _ was _ asleep and this was all sleep talking.

He turned his head slightly, trying to see her from the corner of his eye, but she was on the worst possible side for that… "What do you mean?" he finally asked.

She responded so quietly, it was just above a whisper, and given the time of day, the words could have easily been lost in the bustling sounds of the street, as the lack of sun was bringing new life to the streets. "I'm a bender," was all she said.

Zuko took a deep breath before sighing out "In part, yes."

Her grip on him tightened, and he could feel her shift, her forehead pressing into the back of his shoulder now. She was clearly done talking again.

Once she was home, he let her down gently, and she disappeared to pack clothing. Zuko entered her bathroom and gathered what few toiletries she owned, before moving on to the kitchen area. When she came back from her room, she had one bag, one blanket, and a pillow. 

"You ready?"

She shook her head. "Can… Can we bring my iron?"

Zuko looked surprised. He grabbed the heavy metal pan and lifted it, to make sure he understood the request. "Yes… it's my favorite. I spent a long time saving up for it…" 

He didn't ask further questions. With some strategic tying of the only blanket Li seemed to own, the pan, some herbs, and her jar of duck fat were packed and ready for transit. Zuko carried most of her items, leaving her with just the pillow, and a small hand mirror she collected from the bathroom after he’d long abandoned it.

When they left the shack, something told Li it was for good, even if she wasn't destined to stay with Zuko and Iroh. It gave her a chill, and Zuko said nothing about it.

She was lead back toward the tea shop, which confused Li in the beginning. But once they turned down the street alongside the shop, she realized that Zuko and his uncle must live much closer than she could have imagined. 

The deeper into the building clusters they got, the more confused Li became. At least she could tell her shack apart from the others in her area. At least, that's how it used to be. All these buildings looked so similar, it was like they were connected. Finally, Zuko stopped, and pointed to a stairwell that started at the end of a narrow alleyway. "Those lead to our apartment. Go ahead. Uncle is already home."

"How do you--"

"Hello nephew! I'm making dinner soon. Should I make rice? Or noodles?" The older man called down. Zuko was looking up at him.

"I don't care, uncle!" He sounded more tired than irritated.

"Noodles it is then!" The man chuckled and disappeared back into the apartment. 

Li smiled slightly. " _ What _ ?" Zuko hissed at her, closing the gap between them. She didn't stop smiling. 

"Nothing. I'm just glad you two have each other. That's all…"

Zuko grumbled "Whatever," before nudging her closer to the stairs, which she finally started up. Once inside, he took her things to what appeared to be a bedroom, and left the door wide open. "Uncle, I'm going to be sleeping out in the common room moving forward, is that okay--"

Li was talking to Iroh about dinner, and it was obvious they would be talking for quite some time. He took the pillow and mirror from her, to which he got a quick "thank you," before she continued to pay him no mind.

Instead of fighting about it, Zuko simply began moving things around, and putting things away. In the very least, he was happy to know Iroh and she would get along fine.

"Can I have my iron?" She asked from the doorway, not wanting to intrude. But most of her belongings were set up, she realized. Not Zuko's. 

He handed it to her quietly, but she didn't leave. "What?" She was staring at him. He could feel it, and he was staring at the floor. "Well?" Finally, he looked up, only to see he was wrong. Li was staring into her iron like it was a mirror.

"Zuko, why are you helping me?"

The silence between them was suddenly deafening. She met his eye, and both refused to blink. Slowly, Zuko got to his feet. "Honestly?"

Li swallowed hard, and nodded.

"I don't know. I just know that you make my uncle happy when you are around. And it's not… too terrible to think someone like me is going through this too. A firebender, on the run from their home country, afraid to be killed by them, afraid to get caught…"

Finally, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You're wrong…" 

Zuko's eyes shot open again, and stared at her harshly. "Excuse me?" It took all of his control to not raise his voice.

"You are afraid to be killed by your country-- by  _ your father _ . I am afraid of failure, and everything I do, everything I participate in is a challenge in which I can fail. Even being alive.

"I am  _ filled with terror _ just by  _ being alive _ . The idea of my country killing me is little more than the sugar in my tea.”

Zuko looked shocked. "Why? How can you live like that? Why don't you just… Stop looking at everything like it's a challenge?"

Li shook her head. "Sometimes, Prince Zuko… Sometimes we don't choose our thoughts."

They stared at each other again. "Now. Though I wholly appreciate your sacrifices to get me here… please. Do not give me your room. You deserve at least that."

For once, it was Li who was making demands, rather than offering suggestions, as she turned away from Zuko who almost looked crestfallen.

"In the very least, I don't feel as though you can do anything worse than what has already happened to me." She closed the door behind herself as she left the room, and Zuko could hear her rejoin his uncle, and offer the use of her iron.

“Why are women so  _ infuriating?! _ ” he hissed, tugging at his hair slightly.

Zuko kept himself holed up in the room for well over an hour, mulling over all she'd revealed in that brief interaction. Who was she, exactly? Even though she was spelling it out in bits and pieces, there were too many blank spaces.

Eventually, he settled on rearranging the screens that separated the room into two, and pulled out a second one from the closet, moving everything around so Li would have the section with the window, though she wouldn't have a door directly in front of her sleeping space. He felt she wouldn't mind, and kept one panel folded shut on each divider, so she could enter from either side.

Women liked having options, right? And it wasn't like his uncle would complain…

Finally, he moved her things again, and set up her new bed, leaving her pillow and blanket neatly folded and stacked at the foot.

When Iroh came back to summon his nephew, he was surprised by the arrangements he'd made, and even more surprised to find him just settling on top of his bedding. Part of him wanted to let the boy rest. But instead, he placed a warm hand on his shoulder. "Prince Zuko," he whispered. "it's time for dinner."

Zuko looked nervous.

Li was apparently not feeling as polite. She entered the room and waved the noodles in front of Zuko's face. "Come. If I have to eat, so do you."

"Don't make me responsible for your eating habits!" He took the chopsticks from her hand and ate them, all the while maintaining eye contact with the girl.

"Then take better care of yourself. Time for dinner," she said again, her tone softer than before. Iroh laughed, realizing what game she was playing with Zuko. 

"She's right. It would do you some good to learn what self care really means," Iroh agreed, stretching slightly.

"I think I will make us some tea. Any preferences Zuko?"

"No!" He grumbled to his uncle.

Li followed Iroh. "I know what tea we should make!"

Zuko watched the two exit to the kitchen and sighed before joining them at the table.

It was actually nice to eat like a little family for once, even if one of their group was little more than a stranger to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been a while guys. Work has been kicking my butt. I've also been having some hella back issues that have been sapping my energy. Hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Snuggery: A brothel, wherein you can be sold to the owner as a child, raised, and trained to do your job from an early age. Your first time is often auctioned off to the highest bidder, and happens after your first "bleeding". Snuggery girls work off their debt (from being housed, educated, and otherwise cared for), and often don't leave even after their debts are paid, as it is a hard life to escape.
> 
> The term comes from a book series by the name of The Last Storm Lord.


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